okay, this is the fifth time he asked if it was in yet. maybe i shouldn't have dated a blind guy.
I just had someone call me out on a walk of shame via megaphone
i just farted in the library and heard some girl yell it was sulfur gas. can. not. move.
did you seriously make the punch out of vodka and food coloring
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You just kept shouting "I AM AN ADULT!" until he agreed to carry you home on his shoulders.
And I'm also limping. I just wish that I had self control. I'm 23 for fuck sake and I'm sitting at work, with mascara down my face, vomit on my clothes and an unknown black substance on my tits. How will I ever find my Greek husband if I keep this up?
When we were eating pie last night, I dropped some, and not only did you not judge me for far surpassing the 5 second rule, you let me use your foot to sock mop with. You're a good friend.
Dude if you're not gonna answer them I'm gonna stop snapchatting you my hook ups
I'm high and reading a Wikipedia article on circumcision procedure. Help.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Taking dicks and breaking hearts, no better life
I'm a dude in a dress, who came to a party with Holly GoLightly, got hit on by Bambi's mom, and wants to do terrible things to Link. Halloween is weird
Alas, I cannot find a male suitor sharing my affinity for sport culture who will both manhandle me and treat me with the respect a young Hillary supporter wants and deserves
The day will come again young grasshopper. For now you must complete your training of patience and tongue biting
He’s 48, has a Prince Albert piercing and a white Range Rover
Was it a bad idea to have spent all of my tax return on coke?
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