What should i be more turned off about... his massive collection of condoms or that he asked me to sign my name by number 68 on the list posted on his wall?
I think the two go hand in hand.
hahaha! you have a girlfriend
tell that to the new girl at work who i screwed on the washing machine today...
Is it wrong that I want to take the baby bump in her facebook pictures as "meal-ticket"?
We'll I told him I wanted to keep it PG last night, but then later I asked him to take his pants off. So i'm guessing it was my fault.
Yesterdays boozy weather forecast has been extended to today
He was rocking just a diaper, shoes, and a gun. Sadly, I would still hit it.
Well his dad was his wingman, so I had to fuck him. I didnt want his dad to think that he was doing a bad job and I was drunk enough to think he was doing a good job.
Score one for dad.
From what I can tell at a cursory glance, it seems that last night I fell asleep on string cheese and it melted into my bra.
Gotta admit I did think about bartering you out to the gay guys for $20 and the dudes flashy neck scarf
He broke up with me because "we're at different points in our lives" I think it's because he saw a drag queen with their hand halfway down my pants
When Pony by ginuwine plays I pretty much just grind on the nearest penis.
Well there's only 4 people in my class, we've watched a video, the instructors encouraged us to start using cocaine and now we are on break.
It's been productive.
You still owe me one bodily function mess clean up.
You pee on the floor one time and you never hear the end of it...
I just bought sparkling water with plan B. I am the most basic bitch to ever exist.
Could’ve gone my whole life not seeing a man snort coke off another man’s cock... but there it is...
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