Where you at
assisting at a photo shoot in williamsburg till 7ish. wassup?
Doesn't matter. I already jerked off in your bed.
i just heard a guy call his kid "Google" in a way that leads me to believe that's his name. this day couldn't get worse.
we are learning about oedipus in english. fuck you for making this awkward for me
I love taking my adderall while im in class! As soon as I take the pill out everyone around me just stares in envy!
These eggs taste like chocolate chip cookies. This is the best hangover ever.
she's just sitting here eating cilantro out of my herb garden and watching some show about ducks on tv and laughing, what the fuck did you give her?
nah we got kicked outta the bar after the bouncer saw us putting straws up Chelsea's nose to make her look like a walrus after she fell asleep at the table
And for some reason I just want to have sex with EVERYTHING
I'm a gymnast. they should know better than to let me get dunk near anything i can flip on
his butt looks cute in my panties so i decided he has to wear panties all the time from now on.
Jk probs not coming. Tequila
He must be a special kind of stupid to cheat on a women who works at a funeral home. Does he not understand you can get rid of dead bodies easier than most Americans?
Sorry about the Christmas balls dude. At the time I thought they were festive as fk but I see now I've just spent too much time on the internet
andy told me i got kicked out of the bar and was so drunk i forgot and got back in line. the bouncer was zero impressed
you know maybe it wouldnt be so bad if it hadnt happened before. At least I didnt blow him this time
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