i dont know why he would complain when i touch him there.
I just read the lonely terrorist on nwa had 40 more friends than me on facebook
my cabbie only has one arm...this can't be safe
RJ thinks I should put one of the muffins in my vagina. Good idea or bad idea?
I have a huge gash on my chin. Did I get it from A) a mini siezure; B) an oral sex incident; C) Slamming it into a ledge or; D) all of the above?
We should install the 'help i've fallen and can't get up' buttons on our bodies for this weekend. Birthday weekend calls for extra measures.
Do you know what your brother wants for his birthday?
Yeah he said he wants a decent blowjob for a change.
.......
I'm just looking out for you.
Maybe her vagina is like a vacuum
I can't decide if that would be a good or bad thing. I'm leaning toward good
Remember that time I came to London for 4 hours, got hammered, cried for an hour and then left.
You crawled into bed with Bob and started whispering to him about produce.
The cards I get dealt on tinder now are karma for fucking a married man while I was in high school.
The guy at the liqiour store just said "Wow haven't seen you in awhile, is everything okay?"
How was I supposed to know the accent was fake before i slept with him
Bowls and Harry Potter this morning. I guess work isn't so bad after all
I’m going down on him like an Oompah Loompah on roller skates.
That makes no sense, but good luck
Randomize
