Needless to say when I told my parents they loved me less
I just cleaned your Jaeger vomit off my car with a knife. Don't ever say I don't love you.
Your dignity remains intact. He, on the other hand, is completely convinced he slept with your cat.
Complete silence. Background Willy Wonka music. An empty back of Lay's BBQ chips. These are the ingredients for an extreme acid trip.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Are we playing "how much awkwardness can we fit in the final 29 hours of 2011"?
yes yes we are. Go do something with super glue. i don't want to win.
i also took my stockings off in the bathroom and blew my nose with them in the cab ride home. james was appalled
HOW LONG TILL THESE DRUGS WEAR OFF. I WORK IN ONE HOUR, I REPEAT, I WORK IN ONE HOUR.
I whipped my shit out and she just stared at it with a mean face. It was like a face off in a heavyweight boxing fight.
You just referred to a pillow with a stolen bra strapped to it as "she". Let that sink in for a minute.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well.. If you trust a test that only costs a dollar, I'm not pregnant
There's some random guy here dryhumping my kitchen door. If he is a friend of yours, please come and retrieve him.
I had the hottest doctor assess me at the hospital. He smelled like heaven and sex.
well whats the tarot card for I'm totes going to be schlobbing his cob? because that's in his future.
Your vagina needs to teach my vagina its ways.
Can we go out and get blitzed in celebration that they'll be no more surprise kids
Randomize