If i see another girl turn you down you should either turn gay or just kill yourself
my mom told me that she didn't count me in the census because im a waste of life anyway.
i feel like god sat there all night pointing and laughing at me
I don't know how I'm boarding the plane tomorrow. I have my car registration.
It's the first day of summer. It's not a race it's a marathon. Pace yourself
yes, i was eatting raw cookie dough and fingering myself at the same time.... is there a problem?
My dick was almost in plain McDonald's sight
This drive is very scenic
And I'm chugging whiskey in the back
As you should, soak in all this country has to offer
Is it weird that I noticed my lower half feels strange and then further realized it's bc I'm wearing underwear to bed for the first time in weeks..maybe months?
Are you good with a knife? I need someone to perform amateur surgery.
Can you please help mom and dad? Theyre trying to figure out Skype, and its like 2 cavemen finding fire.
I officially have worse injuries from a baby shower than roller derby.
Fuck him and his perfect arms, huge penis and relentless ability to ignore me.
Can I bother you for a second.
You always bother me but go on.
I woke up and there was a tiny sombrero on my penis. Care to explain?
Randomize
