marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
"you've got the devil in yuh. the curse of Jesus is coming on your sex soon." That's what a homeless guy just told me.
You totally narrated your dogs thoughts for 2 and a half hours last night, and I was enthralled. I didn't say one word, I just listened.
his penis was the training wheels of my sex life
your boyfriend is drunk and yelling to the bar that he loves his cats
remember the used condom we threw behind my bed? my mom found it and is accusing me and making a big deal out of it,
Haha! You pissed me off, so I actually told her to go look behind your bed. Good thing I moved to Nevada, so your dad can't kick my ass. Good luck bitch.
i just threw up in the porta potty. i am in no condition to be guarding anyone's life rite now.
it was such a weird mix, KFC and penis
And this is the part where I need you not to judge me. Remember that I have never seen a penis do that and that I have a weird sexual curiosity
Just got motor boated by a horse in the street
Totally forgot Mike has only one ball. Is it sad I'm excited to see it? Or shall I say the lack of it?
Just got cockblocked by my GF's wedding shower... That's a first. And I have to buy a gift.
My mouth is so dry that I'm about to put a straw in a jar of Vaseline and chug. This all addi diet definitely has its ups and downs.
I'm sitting on your porch drinking wine from the bottle. Just so your new neighbors know what kind of people are in the neighborhood
Was I drunk or did Alex not show up with 100 rainbow Jell-O shots?
Randomize
