I just had to sit down with an 11 year old who threatened to dick slap a girl.
I'm not saying he's gay. Just that he prob knows what a dick tastes like
in hindsight, drinking 2 bottles of wine probably wasnt going to put me in an optimal position for a job interview
He needs to realize that there's a big difference between "I love you" and "I love your dick"
yeah, and when i walked in on them fucking he said "go away, i'm making sons."
I think I've lost the thrill of being a slut. It's just that the newness has worn off, I think.
He's got a wife and three kids but I'm into being that mistake.
Waking and baking has revolutionized how i brush my teeth. Seriously up to like 25 min everry morn. Highly recommend
that ring i bought was worth the 6 bucks. wore it to the bar, told some girl i was recently divorced and wasnt ready to take it off. just got laid. THRICE.
You fell out of your barstool, I tried to help you but you said if I got any closer I'd be drinking my meals through a straw, So there you sat.
I think that girl got really offended when I made out with baby Jesus.
Just remember my house smells of thick cut bacon and I have a big dick.
my binge eating and her being stoned all the time has reduced us to a bowl of chinese candies, frozen bacon and a stick of butter, we do however have enough alcohol to start our own liquor store.
Who breaks their ankle the day before a beach wedding? This guy. Maybe this is karma for fucking someone's wife? Idk.
Sorry, Geoff can’t come to his phone right now. He’s outside trying to show his dick to a bachelorette party bus with “DTF” written on the windows
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