I'm walking behind a man wearing a womans shirt, heels, mens pants and a baseball hat
Considering the last guy I had sex with was gay, this was a huge improvement.
In the middle of getting a blow job, she looked up at me and said "this isn't the first time I've done this today"
Also, I found out tonight a major plus for being female is you can accidentally call the hot bartender sweet tits and she won't get mad.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeah but I was the kid who ran over your BMW and is banging your 15 year old daughter... There isn't a cool enough dad in the world to make that work.
How bad is it if you swallow a really small piece of glass? Be optimistic if possible I'm anxious about it.
There is no amount of alcohol that can make me forget I had a Jimmy Kimmel sex dream
You went into the shower with my roommate and cursed him out asking why he was there
I met a pornstar at his bachelor party and signed his shirt giving him wedding advice
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm excited for you as you venture towards new drug experiences
I just masturbated to the thought of him straight up talking to me. to us having a conversation. What the hell.
I've never been so excited to have my ass in so much pain.
If I die on my walk home, please come claim the body. There is $30 in my left shoe for you....for pizza
Umm my dog ate your vibrator. Sorry 😬
I wanted to make my beer stronger so I poured vodka in it. Why god....why
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