Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
It was fun until I shot a pea out of my nose while throwing up. Left over tuna casarole at 3Am was a terrible choice.
sorry i couldnt make it to your birthday last night. i admit i chose being a whore over you.
a small fire erupted but we put it out with a can of beer so everything's fine
Omg just remembered. I tried to kidnap a dog.
He asked me "did you used to go to church" while we were having sex.
this speak and spell drinking game will be the death of us all.
There is a mobile STD testing unit set up at my place of employment. In the lunchroom. I may need to reevaluate my career choices. And my lunch plans.
The condom broke. Its OK tho, turns out I was just humping her thigh for 20 minutes. Jager dude, Jager.
All I remember is dance battling with a man named tom the entire time who kept buying me drinks so id say it was a success
I am actually offended he hasn't asked me to sleep with him yet to get better grades...I wanted the whole college experience.
What am I supposed to say? "Hey remember last spring when I did an ergonomic assessment on your office, well here's an ergo for your dick."
I just want to get drunk and not have to worry about you leaving me at the bar.
I woke up in his closet, with my shirt inside out and backwards, Rolos in my hand, a tortilla with a face carved into it stuck to the fridge with a magnet, a homemade bong next to the bed, and the door off the hinges... I need a chaperone.
There's a fuckload of syrup all over the floor.
Randomize
