so im watching realhousewives of jersey with my mom. she just said they werent really rich bc they were doing their own makeup.
Bring booze and chicks. Separate, or one already in the other. Your call.
The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
So it turns out there are pros and cons to having a broken wrist. Pro: I can give amazing blowjobs with my left hand. Con: I just had to open a packet of crisps with scissors.
he's werid. hell kiss me after i go down on him but he wont kiss me after i eat anything with mustard.
Someone changed my text signature to "Also, I think I might be gay" last night. Also, I think I might be gay
He told me that if his bed could talk, it'd write a medical journal. Guess it's too late to worry about that now.
there are teeth marks in the soap. why are there teeth marks in the soap.
Just saw a dude in a banana costume get beat down by a one shoed black dude wearing a kilt...paninis is such a shit show after 10 on a Saturday
Pavlovs bj experiment 2012. Welcome to the program.
Debating going to the grocery store with my vibrator still in, cause I can't stand the idea of it out. Lets do some risk/reward
I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date.
Do I go to spinning class and try to redeem myself from going drunk, or do I wait a week and hope they forget I fell of the bike?
He just walked in on me naked with a beer in my hand eating a calzone in bed. If he wasn't in love with me before...
She shit herself again. We're calling her the "Queen of Sharts".
Randomize
