I need to stop coming to work sober
you're dressed like that and you're on the rag, that's false advertisment
It is official. It's the year of doin married chicks. Similar to the year of virgins but without all the baggage.
He put himself in the friend zone by calling me dude all night so I blew his friend. Judge me.
She's crying about either her ex boyfriend, her one night stand, or her own puke. None of those is worth the tears.
If I end up in a healthy relationship because of this, I will NEVER forgive you!!!
You put me in such a good mood with that road head, I bought everyone at Hooters donuts.
mom had to come pick me up from the hotel. I crawled to her car. She told me the entire way home if I puked in it I was going to lick it up. Like high school all over again...
So what happened? Or does sex + ramen pretty much cover it?
this makes me concerned. not enough to actually do anything about it, but yeah.
I want to respect them as people, but really I just want to have sex with them.
I swear if you help me with this I will eat you out and buy you all the Taco Bell you want.
I think I’ve been affected by his dad mustache. I wanna ride it.
A guy at my table is reading a magazine called "Cheese Connoisseur"
You kept sayin "its alright, I'm pre-med" to everything we said. EVERYTHING.
Randomize
