Oh man dude like 1000 to 1500 milligrams. Its gonna burn like bad though.
ohhh my god. this party should be titled "my hookups of summers past" be expecting some good stories tomorrow
Why would you say my penis is small in front of so many people?
In an effort to go green, I just used rainwater to fill my bong.
Maybe you should go over there and lead him on and reach down his pants like he's about to get some and yank his balls.
That's the best idea I've heard all day.
I miss being able to drink at 11am just cause it was sunny outside.
iPhone photo doodle is awesome. I gave my vagina some lazers and sent it to him. He has a whole series waiting on his phone for when he gets off the plane.
Dude, fuck the siberian warm up. You can't put vodka in hot chocolate. Learn from my mistakes
How do you feel?
Like the devil himself shit me out, baked me into a pie, ate the pie, and shit me out again.
You cant come. You're a Colorado native who drinks Bud over Coors. Fucking homegrown terrorist.
Well I can cross being naked in a minivan off the list
who was i chillin with last night? i woke up in a storage unit
Oh man
I hooked up with the lead singer of the band at the wedding. I am so hungover.
I keep finding granola in my bed. This is what I get for sleeping with a guy from Oregon.
i just used your hair clip to unclog my bong. i miss you so much!
Randomize
