I want the hot one, scratch that. anyone.
guys don't fucking realize that the only place girl like their faces jizzed on is in PORN, and that "squirting" is piss. JUST FUCKING PISS.
Haha, bad night?
tonight is proof that a xbox 360 will always be more reliable than a girl ever will
and a girl gets the red ring of death every month
Why would he get rid of a girl with no gag reflex? I don't get it.
Sorry about giving you those ripped gym shorts after my dog ate your pants, but after the awkard BJ incident I didn't plan on hearing from you again
I just saw a black chick with an eyepatch. This is a once in a lifetime opportunity.
I just watched a stripper purchase $43 of Rockstar and corn nuts. Godamnit! We need helmet cams.
You just get me....like our souls are boning in the spirit world
He got me off while watching hockey. He's a keeper.
Homeboy just asked me to strip for him. He should not be this horny and allowed to be in Vegas with his kid.
This is the second time you've stolen a pet when you're drunk, given it back and cashed in on a reward...I think you have a problem
Gotta pay my student loans some way
You were supposed to catch herpes, not feelings!!!
We had sex on a couch that was held together by Velcro. Want to know an unsexy sound? Velcro ripping apart under your bare ass.
Of course his biggest mistake was assuming that I ever gave a fuck to begin with.
Remember how I was complaining about how no guy has ever gotten me off?
Randomize
