Can Purell be used as lube?
I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
They refer to his house as "the abortion clinic". Cant wait.
Bro I can't jerk it to my phone anymore. I feel Siri staring back, and she's real disappointed.
I woke up with flowers, a tiara & pasta salad in my bed. Tequila makes me act like a fat Disney princess
I like to get drunk just like anyone else but not to the point of sticking a rubber tube up my asshole
I think my Halloween costume this year will be made entirely of pillows and I'll be Marshmellow girl or Kirby. That way I'm comfortable, warm, and if I fall over drunk I'm safe.
Apparently after I threw up I put my socks in the toilet......
Been trying to fuck him since december. Finally got him into bed and he was uncircumcised. Why do bad things happen to good people?
I went up by the border of Canada. We took shrooms and went fishing...pretty sure we killed a dragon and ate it for dinner
Single lady's Saturday night: eat doritos, masturbate, eat more doritos. Do shot of Jager. Repeat until desired result is achieved.
Your face; I've seen enough of it for today. Go away now please.
As much as I want you to bang someone other than me, he is an asshole.
No dude shes like 5 feet tall and maybe 100 pounds... Normally i wouldnt be scared but someone gave her a bat. Thats why im in the bathroom
If I take a couple more shots I won't even know he's a Mormon that drives a motorcycle
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