I know right? mind you this is the same woman who told me when I was 12 that oral sex just meant talking dirty
I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
Best walk of shame ever - Brown Hennesy shirt, bright blue overly large basketball shorts, stilettos from night before - ended up buying a ton of 40's and a 30 pack of coors.
Where are you?
A place I should not be.
Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
I am not deleting the internet history anymore, now I am going for shock value.
Just saw a field sobriety test being administered at 730 am, I now know I do not have a drinking problem
Halfway through he got an idea for a short story so he wrote it in magic marker on my boobs. Yeah, he's a keeper.
Nothing like grinding all night with a hot ethnic guy dressed as a clown to help conquer your phobia. Halloween is fucked up.
I bet yours is gonna be filled with secret innuendo.
secret innuendo and cervical punches to the world.
We call her skankles because she's a skank and she has cankles, I thought that was obvious
You fucked two dudes in the same night and still went home to your cats. How does that happen?
The condoms have been found. I repeat: THE CONDOMS HAVE BEEN FOUND. he isn't a collector!!!
I'm glad that we laid to rest the suspicion that he was keeping them in a scrapbook. yayy
I don’t know whether to call out sick or call in drunk
I just found out through a drunken phone call that my parents thought I'd grow up to be a porn star. It's kind of scary how accurate they were at how skilled I'd be at sex.
Honestly, this social distancing bullshit is giving me a good excuse for drinking alone.
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