One night stand!! Now I'm pissing excellence
That burning is chlamydia
I googled "I hate my uterus" just to make sure I wasn't the only one.
Okay you totally passed out. Ask me about the bike parking garage and the expired baby formula in the morning.
i stuck my finger in my ass and it felt weird. but you know. it should be different when a guy does it right?
I didn't think I could chip a tooth while giving a blowjob until I met him.
He started crying and showing me pictures of his ex. she was really pretty. It's an honor to have shared a penis with her.
he turned down sex AND sandwiches. who the hell does that?!
so the photographer said "let's get a picture of the cousins" so we posed together, and then he said " lets get a picture of the couples" So we posed together.
Come get me...we were walking home and she kept yelling "people need to get run over more!" then she just sat down in the middle of the street saying "it just feels right."
Just used my front-facing camera to check my pupils. Technology!
We went to Denny's and he threatened to fight an entire high school track team by himself
If I don't have tequila in my hand soon, I'm going to have to violate human rights laws
I was proudly and successfully the first girl ever to get kicked out of a the bar for being too drunk last night. Loving spring break.
you do realize the next step is naked mud wrestling, right?
So he cheated on his gf again. For the third time. Second time with me. HE CRIED WHILE DRIVING ME HOME BECAUSE HE CHEATED ON HER. And I laughed the entire way. Good god I'm an asshole.
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