My co-worker just asked me if i colored my hair. Time to take a shower.
just dd'd my mom home while she begged me to let her drunk dial my ex, jammed out to party in the usa, and then passed the fuck out. thanks for the genes mom.
We're gonna take a moment of silence to pray... that his penis is as pretty and as talented as his brothers.
I just took a shot out of my supervisors unzipped jeans. Our staff parties are getting a little too personal
we probably should not get naked in my neighbor's garage again. just sayin
I'll even give you a complementary welcome blowjob.
Then he claimed me as his prize for 3rd place in a wing eating contest. Too romantic.
I'm going to make out with someone. I'm on a mission. I don't even care if I'm wearing beer goggles. As long as he's not shorter than me, gay, or a woman.
She took the fish and put it in the hot tub, then turned on the jets. She said she was training it for the Olympics.
Do you know how hard it is to was the scent of sex from your hair in a gas station bathroom?!
What part of a retired stonemason dealing with your rock hard cock does not sound like you have the wrong number ?
Just busted the chick who slept with my boyfriend with alcohol. God I love being an RA.
I was giving him a handjob in the woods and a family walked by
You're just upset because I have cupcakes and boobs and you don't.
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
Randomize
