i think i just puked on my phone
we live great lives
its like randi wears special contacts, but instead of colors they make her eyes say "I want cock"
Would it be too much if i wore depends to new moon so i dont miss any of it?
At a Jewish lesbian wedding. I stick out like a sore, uncircumcised penis.
The bartender asked if I wanted a to-go cup for my crown and coke.....I just realized I'm back in Montana and fuck did I miss home.
He's acting like I should like him more than vodka and Taco Bell, but I just don't ser that happening.
Ive been thinking this might sound random.. But we need a piano in our house next year specifically for railing chicks on it.
Eating pizza and drinking wine while I watch the Victoria's Secret Fashion Show. The wine is for reducing the pain of falling asleep with more insecurities than what I woke up with.
Well am going to a strip club before sun down, I dont think anything good can come from that.
our relationship was basically a one night stand, with a three week long, morning after
he said he was going grocery shopping but when he came back all he had was a jumbo bag of pancake mix and case of beer.
the essentials, lol
You also hate cartoons and musicals, so I will take that to mean the movie was as awesome as I thought it was..smoke weed
I left the bar I'm on a bench across from the bowling alley taking a nap please come get me. I've had three lollipops.
I didn't pop out of a cake in a speedo with diagrams
In case that's what u were picturing
Can I come kidnap you from work so we can chug mimosas? My little brother has a ski mask I can borrow.
Randomize
