finally achieved: got laid in the religion section of borders. thought you should know.
someone just broke into my class and invited everyone to the bar ...now we're filling out a police report. awesome.
And I was somehow convinced to wash the glassware at the bar topless.
i woke up to the sound of my roommate climbing onto my desk mumbling that she was going to bed
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There's a girl in the bathroom crying about something having to do with cream cheese.
She was moaning so loud as i walked out of the room her roommates gave me a standing ovation... i think they are next
At one point I was giving him a handjob and I started singing Call Me Maybe
Trying to find a reliable dealer on Rockfordmugshots.com. Guy arrested for 15 grams of coke could be him !
You realize those people have been ARRESTED recently. right.
Just had the best random sex ever with a girl I picked up from a pro choice rally uptown. God bless the Democratic National Convention.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
NO TEQUILA
Why do I always think it's a good idea? Like a challenge? Shit maybe I should CHALLEGE myself to get laid for once instead
Was your wine and cheese snap taken from the toilet?
I deflowered you on valentines day. I AM THE BEST AT ROMANCE. LOVE ME.
Quick, I need a picture of your dick. Don't ask questions, just show me your genitals.
One door closes, one man cooks for you through the next open door
Im sorry for telling you id rather jump into traffic than date you again. I didnt mean to be so rude
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