dude i need help, im throwing up blood.
no youre not, you just drank a pitcher of red koolaid trying to sober up.
oh, so thats why my junks red.
wow. cant help you there...
The cop didn't care that I was peeing on the wall of my dorm building... All he said was, "come on, it's 9am."
I'm driving behind a lime green VW that has "Seniors '10!" shoe polished on the rear window. i haven't even seen her yet, but I do have a boner.
idk if ive ever seen a picture of him on facebook with his pants on
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I mean I woke up wearing my bathing suit which blows my mind
well now i know if i ever need to drive puke and talk on the phone at the same time i can
there's sperm and chicken noodle soup everywhere
Is it 3pm? Or am I losing my mind because it's pickled in vodka and diet coke?
Now that I'm born again, I'm preserving my gift.
Your vagina isn't a White Elephant gift. You can't re-wrap it after it's already been given several times. That's white trash thinking.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
SOMEONE has to puke in the potted plants at an Xmas party. As their boss I felt it should be me.
Goodbye spring break, hello depressing video on AIDS.
Oh okay. That's fine. I'll buy us both dinner when you bail me out
It's a post jail date
My mom sucked on that joint like a nipple and she was a fucking newborn
I mean if you can't appreciate a good looking dick then just get out.
We laughed, we cried, we fucked, we shirked our familial and work related responsibilities. They could make a movie about the last 40 hours of our lives.
Randomize