i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right
when your hometown is famous for abortion clinic bombings, hurricanes, and jude law's newest bastard, its probably time to move.
after a month anything with tits is on the radar
i gave you head in a backbend. if that doesnt say happy birthday i dont know what does.
still using moms red Christmas cookie plate she sent to cut lines on. not sure I can return with a clear conscious
Were not alcoholics, were just impatient for fridays
??I have an official piece of documentation saying you are banned from Las Vegas.
tell her i changed her phone's unlock password to be the length of my fully erect penis in centimeters. I'll be in my room for the next two hours.
They have a genuine stripper pole secured to the floor of their living room. I am thoroughly take advantage of it. I've made $5 so far. Why don't more places have poles??!
So how exactly do I backtrack from motorboating and ass grabbing?
You are the only person I know who has a fierce hatred for a five year old. Not even five year olds in general, yours is very specific
I just found peanut butter between my boobs. This was for you.
By the end of our first date my penis was pierced.
Unexpected pussy is the best kind. Never expected to get any from a stranger at my little brother's bar mitzvah.
Mazeltov!
Step one: We finally agreed on an au pair that we both wanna fuck.
Randomize
