Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
I JUST SHOOK HIS GRANDMOTHER'S HAND. WITH COCK HANDS. THIS IS NOT FUNNY.
She was doing lines off of her friends boobs in the limo at 9 oclock on a thursday This has the potential to be the best weekend ever
we got plastered, then made lists of anything thats ever been in our vaginas
I know. Brad is upset because he was lower on the list than "that carrot stick"
i drank out of my shoe...were you seriously expecting me to be the voice of reason?
A man pulled out his penis last night and when I said I wouldn't touch it, he said, "that's fine it just needs to breathe".
She gives the worst handjobs, it was like raw meat on a cheese grater
I love you. We're gonna celebrate your 21st by putting people in duct tape bikinis and pushing them down tequila slip and slides
Haha its fine we ask know it. He's still cool thought
Focus on the keyboard man. Focusssss
We're over by the bouncy castles. I'm the one wearing a baby. Bring Twizzlers.
Maybe is for pussies. We only say yes in this household
Getting dome in the backseat of a friends car with Ariana Grande playing in the background was probably the most romantic part of my night
we were having a conversation about big dicks and the chick at the table beside us turned to us said "me and my boyfriend just broke up a few days ago. Could you please NOT talk about big dicks"
Your not drunk until you have to grab on to the grass to keep from falling off the earth.
While the cops were busting my party one of them said. O you have an Xbox? Do you play online? Whats your gamertag?....
Randomize
