THE most awkward situation I have EVER been in
Also, I just threw up a little in my mouth and had to act like everything was totally fine.
I can't make any promises. I've tried my best to stay celibate. But if a guys on top of me, Im gonna tell him to stick it in.
Im starting to realize why people dont masturbate while driving
so i told her that taking semen on the face helps make your skin smoother.
and?
luckily she was drunk enough to believe she had really bad acne...
Was just explained ingredients in a four loko. Puzzles of the universe starting to piece together.
FYI, Sammie and I made the executive decision that we're getting a pet octopus and keeping it in the ballpit. Just thought you should know.
Just did a "spirit of homecoming" bump off a stranger's credit card. A stranger that dropped us off at home. Erica's bad. How do allllll of the Eastern Europeans know how to find drugs so easily?!?
I can't blame him for thinking that then, placing a cone shaped potato chip on the tip of his penis post bj is not a normal act of love
it's like his dick is making a u-turn.
is leaving the club to fk in his friends van subtle?
The man was doing everything in his power to get away from his wife, including go into the gay club.
Lynn just told me "I heard about your divorce. Condoms or morning pill your choice and I'm buying". Sorry but I got plans now bro.
there is a naked boy in my bed & you just need to kick him out because i do NOT want to see him when i'm sober.
I woke up with an eye patch on, someone else's sweatshirt on, and no pants on. I hope it was a good night.
My new roommate looks like a troll. Or a serial killer. So if I disappear, show this text to the cops.
Randomize
