would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
There is no excuse for watching a Jesse McCartney movie.
i just overheard a girl at the next table saying she gave up sex for lent
don't you ever do that...
I answered the my mom's phone call about what we're doing for father's day while he was still fucking me. She thought I seemed really excited about his hiking boots present.
He just made me apologize because his morning wood is NOT a laughing matter.
then my gynecologist said "its like opening up buried treasure"
Her vagina smelt so bad I lied and told her that I was married just so that she would leave.
I need a "closed for the season, thanks for a great summer" sign for my vagina
the quiet that you are hearing is a silent suggestion that you should go fuck yourself
PLEASE AT LEAST MEOW SO I KNOW YOU AREN'T DEAD
Update: my mom just told someone to shut up and suck her dick
I’m going to have to rewatch all of them. Drugs, man.
Yep, you're going to hell.
I take on this great possibility with a beer in one hand and the girl I'm gonna fuck later in the other
you poured beer in your mouth so you could be a beer pong cup for her to drink out of/make out with
Did it work?
I got sriracha sauce on my mask while I was eating fast food, now wearing it makes me hungry
Randomize
