Nada. Shooting off confetti and wanted to see I'd u could see it from ur house.
Wow. Its not even 11am.
Blacked out at the beach and unblacked out at a piano bar singing Tiny Dancer.
I'll just dance on top of the ping pong table, and if it's stable enough for that, then it's stable enough for sex
ALL CAPS CUZ ITS SERIOUS SHAME.
i don't know what happened by from the looks of her lipstick I'd say she was skull fucked by a rhino
Well the police had to intervene and I couldn't exactly feel my legs by the end of the night, but I'd say it was a successful Friday night.
My ninety day supply of adderal just came in the mail and I literally just dumped all 180 pills into my hands and laughed like a maniac. Shits about to get cray
you're the third guy in less than 24 hours she fucked. I'm glad you lost your virginity just don't act like you climbed Mt. Everest.
Sexiest use of a semi colon this week, congratulations.
Just spent the morning washing Bailey's and Guiness out of my clothes -_-
Had to leave my skype meeting to vomit. I'm obviously ready for the real world.
I got stabbed with a couple of chip crumbs during sex Saturday. Further proof I need to stop eating snacks in bed
As we were walking to her place she stole a pizza from the delivery guy's car and when we got home she grabbed a slice, two beers, removed her pants, and said "call of duty?" im going to marry her
Ive seen a birth plenty of times, pretty awesome like a bear trying to climb out of a volkswagon.
I forget how to act sober
Randomize
