I think about you every night.
I'm sorry.
Chicken burrito, or no deal.
Is that code for my vagina?
Who the fuck has ever referred to a vagina as a chicken burrito
He just told me he would murder a thousand dolphins to be with me. Quite the charmer.
I wish my period boobs were my regular boobs.
He's currently rapping every word to 'more money more problems' at what could be a over 30s gay bar. I'm not sure yet. More info to come.
When I eventually hook up with a resident lets refer to it as taking a hands on approach to my job
Honestly... isn't she a psych major? how does she go through life NOT realizing that everything she does is a cry for help?
Every shot buddy I have I end up blowing. I don't know whether this pattern is good or bad.
8:30 every morning in the third floor bathroom we fuck in the handicap stall. You have your morning workout and I have mine.
I'm covered in European cum. How's your day going?
We did Irish Car Bombs out of butter trays, the influence of the retired community is astounding- I didn't know people even owned more than one butter tray.
Can I just go to one establishment in which I haven't banged anyone ?
Are you drunk texting me again or are you just being your regular stupid self?
yes
No idea but I'm preparing for 4 tequila shots and tons of vomit
you said it was a life or death situation, being your partner for beer pong doesn't count
Randomize
