how can u be prego again
The irony of calling it Pride is that you do things that no one should be proud of.
my mom told me that she didn't count me in the census because im a waste of life anyway.
she pinky promised me she was 18
I wonder if you can snort coke upside down
No one even knew you were hurt until we saw the multiple cuts to prove it, and when we asked what happened all you could say was "I fell out"
I owe you 20 bucks. My blood work did show liver damage.
i draw the line when you ask for directions at a place you're already at.
I BIT YOU IN THE DINING ROOM. I bit you and you crunched
We will. we just need a little inspiration.... in smoke form.
I did a hand stand against the glass wall at Ziggy's with no panties on and got 3 phone numbers. Thank God I shaved this morning...
Who am I sleeping next to in your bed? Where are you? Also when are you coming home... I need coffee.
You know we have no secrets, right? I mean, you saw me shitting in a gift bag drunk and naked on Christmas eve.
You had all day to plan ahead & get mixers, so whose fault is this sobriety?
All I know is I woke up with my apartment door wide open, naked, and I poured an entire bottle of Advil on my bed to sleep in.
Randomize
