shes hot in the i'd deny it if anyone asked kinda way
If I die and they 'assume' it's natural causes, just go with it.
When the cops came you just told them you'd go to your time out corner.
Thanks for having 911 ready when I jumped off the balcony
As a female I reserve the right to put my ipod in my cleavage because I have no pockets and not get judged by other girls right??
Well it looked like you were having a fucking apiphany sitting at the toilet with a t shirt around your head
Guess who is playing his new drum set when his roommate gets home to teach her a lesson about binge drinking to the point of being taken to the emergency room?
SORRY! Pervert came out for a bit. BAD PERVERT! BACK IN YOUR HOME!
my mom was by far the drunkest one there. best impromptu wednesday afternoon party ever
I really really need to have and out of body experience just so I can talk to myself about this shit that I'm doing with my life.
Dude, you flipped off a cat from my balcony and yelled at it to get a house
He left his boxers here. Can I keep them and make a shrine or would that be creepy?
Maybe next year when I'm 30 I will be over puking at lunch on Fridays. Maybe
I was going to do a cardio thing but then tacos.
I would like you to know, a bag of cheese cubes just attacked me at work.
Randomize
