She rubs her butt on the bed & then she growls..
do you ever lay in the bath and watch the blood hit the water?
EWW. Don't discuss your period with me. You can go shave your back now.
my coke dealer is running a Black Friday special
I wake up every morning and wish that I didn't have to wear a bra
it's 8 a.m. and there are people having sex at the foot of the strangers bed i'm in. the guy just asked the girl how she lost her baby weight so fast.
He's the kind you'd bring home and you'd wake up and all your food would be half eaten on the kitchen floor and all your socks would be missing.
My professor just gave us a margarita recipe.
Why?
Because, and I quote, he "wants to give us the tools to succeed in life."
Tomorrow, you will get a text, and it will bE spelled right, that's me yo, certify ya soon
Are you on your way? Get your date and black out with me. Democracy's at stake.
Its really hard to get off when the googly eyes on your vibrator stare into your soul..
I masterbated poison ivy onto my penis, it hasn't been this upset with me since the Take one for the team fiasco of 02.
Just had a reminder come up that just said "Ham"
Its safe now. But... Nobody should sleep on my bed tonight.
When I planned out my evening, "co-author lesbian vampire erotica" was not anywhere on my list of expected activities.
Me neither, but hey, this is where we've ended up. Let's embrace the moment.
I’ll call you later. There’s a jilted trophy wife looking for a revenge fuck at my door
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