You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
Um, I don't really remember much about the event... and then I woke up on the metro..
A horse told me not to drive home last night. I think there was a cop on top of it.
I realize now that I left my pants on that table in the downstairs bathroom at you house on Tuesday....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Call me when your ready for an explanation about the ham in your vagina.
This may be hard to believe, but that wasn't the first time I was fingered under a snuggie
It's not
So is there some kind of punch card you and I get to use every time we fuck a chick with a cast?
Watching elf, eating a tub of ice cream, and coming to terms with the fact that I haven't had sex in 5 months. Happy fucking holidays.
nothing out of the ordinary. you aplogized for having a spicy vagina and passed out
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
At one point I yelled "THIS IS MY PENANCE FOR EVERYTHING I'VE DONE WRONG" and started saying Hail Marys
I'll send you pictures of my nipples so you don't feel left out.
I threw a beer bottle at the bartender and pissed myself. Somehow, I didn't get kicked out.
My Easter Basket from my parents consisted of one chocolate bunny and a massive amount of condoms and a single note saying "the pope approves of the use of condoms" love mom and dad
In the officer's defense, I was indeed pantless at the time he cuffed me, but there's a perfectly good explanation.
I couldn't find my contact solution so I thought mixing toothpaste and water would work
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