So how gross is it that Woopie Goldberg has a vagina? She's like the exact opposite of a boner....
his cum shot went directly into his bellybutton. felt like i was playin ski ball
Call me pathetic, but saying "tits for ireland" is working out really well on chatroulette today.
At the T-Rex bar with my nephew...only in Disney can I have a beer and a soda at the bar with a 4 year old
is it sad that i can describe this night as "the night that i was sober" and we all know which night it was. like literally one night of sobriety.
there is a time and a place for ass-grabbing and that was not it.
come to Starbucks. I'm the fat girl eating a whole pizza sitting on the ground
It came up in court that I told the arresting officer my name was Thomas Jefferson, and I was born in 1776. I almost kept a straight face. Almost.
If it makes you feel any better, karma just served me up a big dose of fuck you.
Whoever put the picture of my dad in the condom box is an asshole
Dude the tree smoked with me. I planted the roach with it and smiled.
Nothing says "i love you" more than flowers and potatoes
Even though I'm gonna be a felon I'm having fun for time being.
FUCKIN BIRDS ARE CHIRPING AT 4 IN THE MORNING. THE SUN ISN'T RISING YET MOTHERFUCKERS, GO BACK TO YOUR NESTS.
I wanna eat mushrooms and cuddle with a million dogs at once. I wanna know what heaven is like
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