she just uttered the sweetest sentence in the english language...my stripper friends are coming over
More importantly, he hasn't caught an STD yet. I mean I'd say it's luck, but at this point it has to be skill.
Smoked a joint and chugged some pepto. Feeling a lil better... Not sure which is working..... Gonna keep doing both.....
For u too. Could be years before u have a finger in ur ass
he said he wished i had balls so he could kick me in them. then we had sex obviously
I'm about to airblow my boyfriend. I'll three-way you.
And now you understand the importance of Saturday naps.
Because you stay up all night having sex and eating sushi?
There's a baby duck in my toilet. Fuck you.
HE WAS DRESSED LIKE A FISHERMAN AND HE WAS LIKE OH SHIT I THINK I JUST FOUND THE DEADLIEST CATCH i couldnt not go for it my honour compelled me
I just wish my penis was a person so I could give him a high five.
How is it??
I'm drinking Gatorade out of a champagne flute.
Trust me. My dick only does selfies for you.
she's p upset bro
Where is he. I have a sword.
Dude in the stall next to me shitting and sobbing. Dude another stall over, "Come on bro, you gotta loosen up." This is why I don't shit in public.
i think i passed out for a few seconds while we were having sex but he didnt notice...
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