Better skin, bigger boobs.. Birth control is INCREASING my chance of getting pregnant because people actually want to have sex with me now.
He fell asleep and they duct taped him to the floor. He's pissed.
At what point should i just give my brother a break and stop sleeping with his friends?
they just named my boobs. Lefty is "Guenevere" and Righty is "I claim this boob for America"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
they would be such cute babies and they would grow up to have huge dicks. and that would make me proud as a mother
it was good sex until i became a rubber doll and he became a jack hammer, so i guess overall it was good
Also, they sell weed-chocolate covered strawberries. For the romantic stoner.
That was one of the best texts I got today
There was confetti in my vomit this morning... Happy New Year!!
I won't trust your judgement until the word stripper doesn't make me laugh
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well at least ssomeone is or the state is tafing over ir in twligiob
Literally told everyone you're my idol cause you ate a chicken nugget off a sword
Do you think it's illegal to drive without your pants on?
You should've seen the look on the guys face when I demanded pho and a beer the second they opened. Obviously he doesn't understand hangovers
I had to dust off the condom box before she came over..
you started putting peanut butter on your pubes.
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