He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
With the way things had been going, I was never more excited for a person to cum
No, don't worry. We're not going to get THAT arrested.
Me + Nice restaurant + Copious amounts of booze + obscene comments to couples = valentine's day plans
its not thanksgiving till you and grandpa shotgun beers out in the shed, and lose
BTW. If I show up really drunk and dressed a cowboy, don't be alarmed
Just made a PowerPoint called "Reasons Why You Should Fuck Me" at his request. The sad thing is we've had sex before...
FridayRule: If it takes you longer than 5 minutes to find a parking spot, you don't have class today
Okay so my USC tutor just offered to eat me out. I think I'm definitely applying to USC.
In Punta Cana for my bachelor trip, hopefully tomorrow my passport is blacklisted
I will be the DD but everyone has to call me Mistress
Okay. So did I kiss you last night? I know that I made out with someone. Or a few someones. But I'm pretty sure that I made out with you. Was that real life?
I wasn't that gone.
Dude, you cried and said how sorry you were when we asked why you had the dip.
Dude, he came to our house with a beer can in his hand dressed up in a chicken suit screaming, "free eggs!" then threw up and passed out in the front yard.
Its pretty bad when you can tell twins apart by the size of their penises...
Randomize
