Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
Here's a fun fact your kittens ate my vomit last night
Just so you know, the bottle of red gatorade is NOT GATORADE. It is definitely someone's puke. I hope nobody else makes the same mistake I did.
my roommate left her license, credit card, and cellphone on her desk. I feel like this is a trap.
Okay, thats embarrasing even by my standards and I've thrown up while wearing a viking hat. just a viking hat.
My roomate asked me why she found condoms in the pringles container. I don't know what to tell her
There is a hole in her door about 2 inch in diameter. You may see me on YouPorn
My cat clawed my face because i tried to give it a foot massage...never doing shrooms again.
I'm so fucking horny right now If I blink I might cum
it is basically gonna be an ugly Christmas sweater rave
His crazy is a thing to be cherished
Trust me, I'm a professional lesbian.
He's finally divorcing her, so naturally he tells me that we're not exclusive anymore. His penis 'wants what it wants' apparently.
I accidentally made jungle juice last night.
Yeah, we got drunk and stole road signs.
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