life is too short to starve
life is also too short to be fat
I dont understand how a fully grown man could convince himself that lime green crocks would look good on him.
Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness?
Just so we're on the same page, we cannot have been the first people to have ever thought about shooting that guy with crossbow
i seriously have like 9 pictures of people taking shots out of a vag on my camera....
Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
You called your ex's vag an "AIDS Pinata". Drunk You is the Hulk Hogan of insults.
I wish I cared about making my vagina as presentable as you do.
I just want you to know that I think it is hilarious and wonderful that 40s are now your alcohol of choice.
I just want someone to shove bread from panera down my throat
she keeps a switchblade in her panty drawer... i am both terrified and slightly turned on
... and smoked a joint with my new landlord. I'm starting to like Germany.
who knew being a fake dominatrix could be so fun?
My vagina is the only part of me that is pleased you lived through last night.
One of my tenants at my fourplex that I own gave me a massive bag of severely dank pot and a brick of cocaine because she didn't have the cash to pay the rent. She might just be my favorite tenant!
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