I see lights
Your drunk and in times square. Time to take the 2 train home.
Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
So then the officer asked you how you were getting home and you told him "very carefully"
sweet and enthusiastic is code for tiny dick.
She was surprised when she saw all our living room furniture was made from old kegs. It's like she's never met us before...
Oh my god. He likes it up the butt. But loves womanly support. Omg. Its bad. Its bad. Ive had too much whiskey for this to be ANYthing except bad.
Dude, the lecture theatre is caving in on me.
My mom wants to know what to send you in a care package. She used cat emojis, so you know it's serious
FRIENDS DON'T LET FRIENDS WASTE THE LAST ADDERALL.
I guess I'm just gonna have to learn to live with the fact that I'm the guy who takes his pants off at the party and tries to start an orgy
She ran from her surprise party screaming "I'm not ready for an intervention." Yeah, the girl has a problem.
Nick's drunk off his ass and Kyle just Texted me and all he said was "butt pirates from space".
Fyi - we're going to be eating those sandwiches in bed when you get home.
i just ran butt naked down the hall and someone highfived me. i love college.
You cannot steal the fun of my nakedness. You do not own my nakedness. My nakedness is my sole property and I share that fun with whom I choose.
Randomize
