my drunken desire to be gossip girl continues to ruin friendships for me
we're at the bar and some girl dropped a bottle of burnettes strawberry vodka out of her purse and it broke.
i mean, if that's not class, then i don't know what is
And then he told me he had the vodka, but he was still in line at WIC for the juice.
I had fun this weekend too. According to Web MD, my symptoms say I had a miscarriage.
I got concerned once i realized you weren't there to hear us having sex. See I do worry about you.
Just heard the girl at the bar cuss her bf out and order a long island ice tea. Going to give it 5 min then I'm going in. See you on the other side.
he has decreed that i can sleep with anyone who has the same name as him. line up all the toms
Well his ex just grabbed his dick and told him yep Ill call u later
Fell asleep with Kristen and woke up with Sarah. It's official, vacation has begun.
Don't forget the part about the bar bathroom stumbles.
Oh damn, you're right. I have to include that. You turned off all the lights with your head. That was impressive.
Got too starbucks. 3out of the 4 girls working i have ducked and haven't ever called. My coffee has dick written on it. It may contain spit by pumpkin lattes are only once a year
I woke up with a dick pic from the ex-Mormon via email. Not really what I wanted to see before my first cup of coffee this morning, but I gotta say, I'm impressed.
Haha I'M GOING TO MISS HIS PENIS SO MUCH. But not his bipolarness.
3.5 bazillion penises. So not that hard to find a new good one
He said watch this and then went and tripped into a group of 40 year old women, now he's leaving the club with them.
You and I both know it takes more than prescription narcotics to keep our family down. See you around ten, brother.
Randomize
