FYI..good luck when you get back from work.. mom and dad know about the boy you brought home last night
haha good one..how did you even know?
we all know. he obviously didn't leave when you might have told him to.. he came down when we were eating because he coud smell mom's cooking. the dude ate with us and offered to say grace. so yeah, good luck.
I think my tv knows when im high and tells taco bell
So I feel really bad about last night...can i give you a blow job and we call it even?
you kept spraying the cat with water and then telling it to "man up" when it cried
The hospital said it would be 'irresponsible' for them to allow people to book stomach pumps.
What I dont get, is for a man with a penis his size, to choose to go back with another girl instead of one that he says is the best sex he's ever had. He cant afford to be picky.
im not gonna bother asking u how it was... we could hear u through the walls
no one is here. wer drinking in the beer garden in the dark and we stole a bucket of blue paint off the sidewalk. now her legs are blue.
He never gives up. He's like the fucking little engine that could of hook ups
He actually offered up a silent prayer thanking God for my "tremendous ass." You tell me how my night is going.
I feel like the devil is trying to impregnate me through my eyeballs.
I don't remember his name. I had whataburger on my mind and in my hands so I wasnt really listening
I've had sex with three people who have this birthday.
my underwear is inside out , I have a giant hickie. I'm wearing last nights makeup. this is going to be the best day at work ever
Im goin to jail bro ill talk to u sun
Randomize
