I thought she had blonde hair
No, Gonorrhea actually
There is a girl getting fingered on my left, a middle aged drink man smoking a bong and two girls flashing the cameras in front of me. I'm in the middle trying to maintain my innocence.
i can totally tell he's high. he's having a conversation with my dog.
I tapped out to boredom. She bought me a full meal at Subway. Two tap beers and a pretty weak long island iced tea. I'm five dollars cheaper to fuck than she is.
failed my one goal of the day: wake up before 2 pm.
She literally crushed my balls between her butt cheeks. It was both the greatest and worst thing ever. Dancers are awesome.
I wish we could skip the pretense of being normal and just start drinking wine with breakfast
I just wanna lay in my bed all bundled up as have someone feed me lettuce
The condom broke. Its OK tho, turns out I was just humping her thigh for 20 minutes. Jager dude, Jager.
I'm glad you have such faith in my ability to find the worst situations with my vagina.
I told my boss that I'm in a slutty stage of my life right now and the chef overheard and slipped me his number. I might get laid tonight
If I remember correctly I tried to steal a mail truck last night
Interesting. All i can really say is humanoid shaped doritos bags melting very slowly
Shes yelled my World of Warcraft name when we were having sex, I think marriage is next.
Can I say it was a great night out of town? Fucking my co-worker in the hotel bed while my best friend is fucking his friend on the floor and a random guy is laying in the other bed meanwhile we are all passing a joint back and forth
Randomize
