I realize now. I should have just made out with everyone and anyone when I had the chance.
They've started ranking girls from "paper-bag" to "I just came." Please come get me
I cannot convey how much I really do love Chris Hansen. FYI: he is the JC Chasez of my adult years.
I love having a boyfriend. I just ate pancakes with regular syrup and chocolate syrup, I havent shaved my legs in a week, and Im still going to get laid tonight.
fuck. you.
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You insisted I take photos of you vomiting off the top of the tree.
It's alright she couldn't hear you. Her legs were over her ears
Ever have those mornings where you just can't wait to puke in the shower?
The neighbors outside are screaming at one another about God knows what and everyone is too scared to go outside and we NEEd more beer
She asked if i could guess "what shape her carpet was". I got it wrong (christmas tree).
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Also cheers for the reminder to check last night's texts. It's been a magical adventure through drunk me's thought process.
That was the night, like, my hair caught on fire...
I hope you get stoned and think that you're a seal in shark infested waters
I just got a lecture from your coked out sister about the monetary value of Dothraki hair braids. Take her home.
I just hip-checked Santa and stole his cab.
I think I'm emotionally ready to start being a slut again. I'm excited.
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