i may not always bang 16 year olds but when i do, i prefer hot ones
So one buddy got tackled at the urinals by national guard members and was arrested. Another had sex in a port o potty with possibly the drunkest girl I've ever encountered. The rest of us blacked out and won a few bets. So yes, the derby did meet our expectations.
he was so high that he wouldn't speak to anybody for like 30 minutes, he'd only gobble, like a turkey.
do you think you could subtly ask him about the dimensions of his penis?
Hippo gnu deer
"thanks for the sex" was written in lipstick on my bathroom mirror. i'm officially done with random hook ups.
you are my patron saint of "too drunk for 9am". i just keep asking myself what would alyssa do as i try to regain motor function
He's scared I want a relationship? How does texting him at three am and sleeping with four of my exes symbolize that?
I love when groups of boys part so I can walk through. It's like a red sea of penises, and I am their Moses.
he appreciated my fucking vagina for two hours he can appreciate my honesty
I didn't have time to wash my hair yesterday. Ended up spraying some Febreeze on it.
Dude, some chick came over here earlier and thought my lube was hand sanitizer. She poured it all over her hands.
you took my virginity. you can't have my alcohol too.
We found him. He just came running out of the closet with a bruise on his face saying he has been fighting elves in Narnia for a year.
No pussy. I don't care what time of year it is you do not look tough wearing sandals. Honestly you look like a high school guidance counselor.
Randomize
