If I was Danny Tanner and my wife died and left me with three kids I would hire a nanny rather than bringing in the sexually promiscuos uncle with a fetish for leather and rebellion and my obviously mentally ill (possibly gay) best friend Joey, who has never had a girlfriend and consistently talks in cartoon voices... a nanny is just a better choice
she came over and started getting naked and said its not like i came over to just hang out
youve hit the jackpot
I was pretty stoned. I thought I needed a seatbelt at the restaurant.
I just remember telling jokes while vomitting
If I was there, I'd make you a vicodin spiked sandwich.
We found them in a dumpster making out trying to get their privacy
just got home. some guy on my porch is tryin to show me his balls. no more parties at my apartment.
the cops were hovering over him then shinned a flashlight to the floor above ours, then I realized that some fucker jumped from the third story.
fuck our hall.
I got us chalkboard mugs. Now whoever comes home with us can feel comfortable in the morning! I am too considerate to my one-night stands...
The cleaning lady has moved my vibrator twice now so I would say I'm pretty ready to move out.
Just remembered I said your cat looked delicious last night.
The cops came, and I made friends with him. He wants me to babysit his kids.
I was totally pumped and so was my beard
i'm 99% sure they had an orgy while i was passed out
I think he is using me to sort through his relationship issues, past and present. I did not sign up for this. All I want is booty. Am I the dude in this relationship?
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