let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
so after six weeks of dating she admitted shes bi and asked if it would freak me out if we brought another girl into the bedroom. i said no in this hesitant voice and she said 'if you let me dont worry ill make it up to you'
i literally fucking hate you so fucking much.
also I just used a straw to drink the juice out of a tomato b/c I forgot how to bite.
Emily is drunk. We're coming to see you at work and we're bringing jello shots for you.
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I was just stopped at a stop sign waiting for the moon to turn green.
his name is devion and he has a voice like velvet and handcuffs
Just pretend you're riding a unicorn through space. Thats how I deal with the stirrup situation at the gyno office.
I just crawled out of bed at 5AM to make her a peanut butter and Nutella sandwich. Somewhere in the distance, I could hear whips cracking.
Every time you visit for the weekend I end up having to bleach my entire house after.
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She's going to be the first to die of too much illness. Not even super bad stuff like cancer but like for having a cold at the same time as a sore throat and chlamydia or something. Just too much diseases.
I wanna say I regret bonging a beer while having sex with Mike, but it helped me get thru it.
Here's to not getting arrested this year on thanksgiving again. Cheers bitches!
I'm just the girl with the breathalyzer keychain, and I embrace that.
I would've fucked Winston Churchill - rode that D like I was going into battle.
Idk if I want to put a bra on
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