yay, now i'm not the only homewrecker.
yeah but i stopped sleeping with him after i found out he was married.
Just caught my bro jerking off to a lane Bryant catalog
I feel like my uterus is decaying in my body
He took the Gold in Olympic clit licking last night. Canada should be proud.
Hahah what did you even say to him?!
That I was gonna inflate his vagina with a leaf blower?
Oh.
He told me his cum shot melted the paint on his bedroom wall and asked if I want to see it
Just came to the realization that what I thought were orgasms were just lightheadedness from hyperventilation. My entire sex life is a lie.
Is your gma going to be okay with me passed out drunk on the ground
Conversations we need to have while high 1) how mermaids reproduce 2) if blind people hallucinate what do they see 3) reincarnation
The paramedics said she just kept whispering "I just wanted to party"
Up until today, I never would have thought I'd have to tell someone not to color on the cat
I don't want sex or anything I just really need someone to appreciate how shiny my hair is
I went from looking for a bong to home decor in a 10 minute span. This is what being an adult is all about!
I love you. I would never turn you into a bear.
were you aware we were supposed to be taking care of her hamster this weekend?
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