32 messages asking me to suck his dick. And there for a minute i thought i was desperate. ha!
Hahahaha
make that 40.
he said i'm too pretty to suck penis
Just wrote a paper about alcohol abuse that sounded like my weekend...
On a scale of 1 to 10 how hot is the girl you're about to fuck?
Strong 6
That's an oxymoron.
im gonna make a bucket list just so i can cross off "underwater blowjob"
I'm a big fan of your penis but I will not sit through an animated movie dedicated to it.
Friends help friends remove their foot from the sunroof after an epic smoke sesh.
He brought me bullshit flowers and a bullshit apology. Even shrek did more than that for Fiona. And he's an ogre. Does this not say anything about him?
I think I'll handle my grief by throwing myself headlong into lesbianism. Seems like a fitting tribute to you.
You knocked on your freshman year room door, told the kids who opened it "I own you", and attempted to force-feed them everclear.
I now have a other guy willing to drive 3 hours for my vagina. At my next gyno appointment I'm asking her if there's cocaine in there.
I found it. now I'm going to the gym to be "healthy" or whatever that folklore is called.
Does puke ruin car paint? Good thing it's raining.
I would go disguised as someone he didn't have premature ejaculative sex with but I don't know if I could stay in character.
You were just laying there on the air mattress watching spongebob with a knife. We tried to take it from you, but you insisted it was your emergency escape in case you started to float off.
Randomize
