Why do girls always cry at the bar?
What's the point of going out if you're going to cry all night?
Are they having an exestensial crisis at the bar?
im insabelyl wasted and diont know if ill yexyed tou. call me
dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
That's a really weird place to spoon. Especially if there are more accessible places to spoon. Like a bathtub.
Just called the bar: "hi this is the girl who you kicked out for excessive bleeding, do you happen to have my coat?"
He's moaning and crying and coughing up something audibly liquid. I can't live in this house any more.
The last thing I remember was you puking all over the inside of my door and him yelling "PUKING RALLY!!!"
You better be making out with him cause we're sitting here with this awkward british girl watching videos of goats singing maroon five
WAKE UP!!! We have 20 minutes to get to class. That means we only have 10 minutes to get drunk.
I woke up and found a stick of butter in my pocket. There's no butter in the house so I don't know who's it is. Using it to make cookies.
barely 48 hours and I've done the dirty on both of my roommates beds before they've even slept in them
There's a guy running dressed as a bunny toward your house.
How do you ask the man who gives you multiple orgasms if he has friends who could do the same for your friend?
It's time you knew: I have been dating your probation officer for 7 months. Pretty certain he's THE ONE. So, thanks for being a criminal.
i found a picture from last night of you sat on the floor naked, covered in butter and crying. care to explain?
I was hoping you could tell me..
Randomize