I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
i'm the matthew mcconaghey of this party. i'm too old, and too high.
Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
one day john is going to snap and they are going to make a new show called "john and chainsaw minus 9"
worst hand job ever. my dick is about as raw as that sushi your mom wanted me to try.
I just left the house and 2 chicks are in the kitchen making breakfast. Might want to get up.
I'm up, no shirt, and staring at a breakfast casserole. Who are these girls?
I got "discovered a new religion high" last night
we ended up on her 9 year old brothers bed and he saw the whole thing.... now he will know how to use his equipment
It's a sign that no dudes december is about to start: I have a yeast infection.
So apparently I ended up throwing my clothes in the toilet after getting kicked out of TQ and ran around the neighborhood in my boxers. Works gonna suck hard once this hangover kicks in. Also: I lost a shoe so looks like flipflops for the rest of winter
Oh, and one of the worst parts... his name was Mario. I fucked a Nintendo character.
you walked around drinking beer out of a plunger and telling people it was a goblet...
Seriously considering modifying my computer case so it can dispense wine. I need to make a bunch of changes and reorganize it's guts anyway....
I want an apology pizza with SORRY IM A DOUCHE spelled out on it in pepperoni
I'm totally picking out my shrooming outfit and blankets right now
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