Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
sitting in room practicing taking shots. has my life come to this?
so i gave him head in the movie theater last night. thought we were alone til I heard the clapping from the other side of the theater after he'd finished.
at one point last night, you were literally auctioning me off. "reeeally drunk hot girl ! we'll start the bidding at an ice cold corona. oh, we have a bidder! do i hear a shot of whiskey? going once, going twice.."
youre welcome
girl I've been sleeping with this summer as per her request just gave me a carton of cigs to thank me for my "hospitality". this is good.
I'll probably just close my eyes and point to a random name. That will be my vote.
I just realised how much we're failing the women's suffrage movement right now.
Thoughts of banging the girl who just opened my beer with her teeth?
You know it's been a good thanksgiving when you pee all over your own hands.
just texted my dealer that i could taste the blue but not the cheese. i said i could taste blue.
His girlfriends signaled their approval by pulling me off of him and in turn making out with me. I think I will hang out with this group more often
She made me walk a straight line to prove i was sober enough to help carry you to the car
Knowing you it was perfect out of spite. Like. A line straighter than YOU
my paper on vitamins just turned into a 2 hour tangent google search on what i should buy to best cure a hangover. I need to stop getting high before homework
So my POF profile is full of Archer references. Only guys who get them will be getting any response to their messages.
I'm not complaining, but why is it that every time I hang out with you I come home with random injuries and random girls?
no, it was more of an i-don't-think-he-even-knows-what-a-clitoris-is, bad.
Randomize
