Someone's got a whale tail
A thong is hangin out?
No, a fatty following them
HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
My text messages all automatically add Zs on them cause of your skank ass messages you send me
Michael Bay is the white Tyler Perry.
Apparently I did my philosophy paper last night. It's not bad either.
my goal is to masturbate without thinking about my exbf.
We woke up under the ping pong table holding hands.
I would compare it to a jeffrey but in smoothie form. More drugs in here than Bobby Brown's sock drawer.
I want him in the "you're a terrible idea and are probably going to get me killed by my parents, my siblings, and my boyfriend" way
I take your giggles as a yes to operation McLaxitives?
Yeah I was thinking something along the lines of "I almost died, lets celebrate with sex. Come over"
You know, we cock-blocked like 5 people last night. It's like we're her vagina goalies
They put me in room 420 every time and I take bubble baths and smoke in the room and they bring food TO MY BED
That's why i need nudes. Plutonic nudes.
There were firefighters and a fire truck up the street. I asked what was wrong and their exact words were "Just a tiny explosion; it'll be all right"
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