Eating a girl out that was just in the ocean does not make her taste like saltwater taffy
just left the emergency room. condom extraction.
this is something i pride myself on being below average for
And i didn't ask you to do that, You showed your penis at your own free will.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Either I'm spending too much time drinking or my perfume is starting to smell like a pineapple vodka.
But apparently I got kicked in the head by a stripper at some point
The instructions say refer to specific course material, but I'm in no mood to reopen this awful book that caused me so many lost hours of drinking.
Yeah FUCK THAT NOISE
I'm at a bar. It's body paint Wednesday. All of the waitresses are topless. Help me
No man. Everyone needs to shit off a roof, at least once.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i'm not drunk or reckless enough to have you track my every fucking move. I AM AN ADULT
As planned I took it to the limit. Then we met a new limit. Now they are limit friends.
He used the term 'cock-staggering' in an email. So needless to say things are going pretty well.
I'm going to book club and then I'm going to get laid. Being in your 20s ain't so bad sometimes.
Getting a UTI was SO NOT on my wishlist for the holidays
She's still here. My penis can feel it.
Dude, I think she left with some dude like an hour ago
FOUND HER. I swear this thing is like a metal-detector
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