At least we lost an hour tonight! Less time to make a fool of myself
I hope my future cuntsucker is that tight
We learned about herpes today in bio. I might as well have given the lecture
woke up next to her writing my name in some journal. apparently she makes every guy she hooks up with sign out.
don't worry, your friend will b fine, they treat virgins nicely around here
I like your house better though. Cause it has febreeze and lube.
I don't think you have any idea how kinky that sounds.
I hope, cuz I was gunna get "celebritory drunk" but now I have to get "I'm disappointed drunk"
i just masturbated in footie pajamas. there's no judgement here.
someone wrote on his wall: "congrats on your engagement"
I think you may want to look into that...
My dick is covered in produce stickers. I suspect you
Well u missed Autumn's newly 21 yrs old sister flashing her tits and standing on the bar last night.
dude, we need a reunion soon, my vagina needs a deep massage. The kitty is ready to play
I found you walking along the street hammered. You walked up said hi and handed me a beer.
Emojis can't explain what he felt when that ass dropped
It's not my fault I make her feel like a Taylor Swift album
Randomize
