Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
If its called oral, why is it so hard to talk?
She needs to learn what's it like to have sex with someone and regret it the next day.
I walked into cold stone and the guy started preparing a supersized birthday cake remix for "Mrs. Munchies"
Dude I pulled down his pants and he already had a condom on
im honestly just eating salsa and looking at his penis
The beer-amid has reached five feet. Caitlyn has a taser. GTG
I want him to be the Hulk to my Brooke Hogan this Halloween. Can I ask him to be my daddy this weekend?
Only if you say it like that.
i need to stop celebrating other people's birthdays like they are m own.. my body can't handle a birthday every week
Some girl took her panties off, soaked them in vodka and wrung them out into a line of guys' mouths! Awesome!
No, NOT awesome. Where the fuck do you go drinking!?!
I didn't want sex last night, but she charmed my dick out of my pants like a snake charmer.
Your life has no conflict it's just a blur of sex and Netflix
You were drunkenly dancing with a statue you affectionately referred to as "The Captain." I wasn't going to deny your happiness.
My face feels like a midget just gave birth to quintuplets
Also fucking you night and morning and then serving your parents breakfast is a bit awkward. And funny. To me.
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