I love you!
You're insane
Fuckin crazy man! Seriously though I think if you would have me I honestly seriously think about marrying u!
Alright now lets video chat so I can xshow u my dick! Hahahaha
You can tell alot about a person by their poo.. For example, he was a smoker.
I saw the video from Saturday. So, how much did I drink for me to think I was a duck and strip my clothes?
i decided what we are doing for your 21st b-day: camelbacks filled with margaritas
It's ok, I like adventure. Just ask my vagina.
i think i broke my dog last night...fuck
Dan I was a mess I made out with a 40 yr old who gave me a wad of cash for Christmas. Like wtf
I've realized that I'm going to have to wake and bake every morning to make it through the summer without killing someone. This is ridiculous.
HELP! How do I get paint off the dog?
I hooked up with a guy that had a beard last night felt like I was building a fucken log cabin
Currently having to re-watch episodes of Lost that I've only partially seen because you distracted me with your vagina
just discovered a semi frightening wound on the side of my head that must have happened last night. if i die of a brain aneurysm, make sure they put "sorry for partying" on my gravestone.
Perfect attendance and not being drunk since Sunday. This is a new leaf if I've ever seen one
Sorry I missed your birthday party. I caught a dick and rode it to O-Town
She shouldn’t care what consenting adults do behind closed doors
You do realize it was her husband you were hooking up with behind that door, right?
Randomize
