Tried killing a moth in our bathroom. Water everywhere. Don't worry about it.
i failed horribly. studying for that final was as pointless as Vinnie is to Jersey Shore
thank god dogs can't talk. they see way to much.
You totally drew a penis wizard on my closet that says "I travel for cock rock"
It seems to me that once you begin comparing Jesus to hercules and calling him a super pimp you should put the wine away...
In case you were wondering...putting everclear into a humidifier DOES get you really really drunk.
listening to the two girls in the next stall finish a 40 and laugh at this guy they both fucked. they're calling him 'tulip dick'.
Can I sell my birth control in a yard sale?
Sprained my ankle at sky zone REST ICE COMPRESSION ELEVATION AND SHOTS it'll all feel better soon
You better wipe the dick of your lips before you come smoke this blunt.
You're just gonna have to make the sacrifice man.
I'm trying to hide in the table.
He called me baby cakes during sex... Can U not
I think it might be the guy sitting next to me. I've concluded he HAS to be smuggling insane amounts of onions in his wardrobe to smell like that
You chugged Absolut from a beer bong. Why WOULDN'T you be a champion?
its official, you're fucking me on my lunch break. the only thing I want in my mouth is your dick. pick me up at noon.
want fries with that?
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