Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
how about we just leave your boyfriend out of this
Conclusion from last night: Sometimes being classy isn't as fun as making out with a guy on a pooltable in a bar. Happy birthday, Canada.
so he let me use one of the toothbrushes that came in his daughters 4 pack, purple glittery toddler toothbrush, the next time i came back his wife has used their label maker and put my name on it...
so when i dont talk to her she talks to herself...idk whats worse
shes still asleep dad put a lobster in her bathroom
Sitting on the floor in my kitchen eating taquitos. Being this drunk the next day has lost its allure post graduation.
I can't believe im sexting my roommate. This is really what my life has come to
I have to cancel. My sons dad is out of jail unexpectedly and i'm kinda an emotional wreck. P.s. This is not the life I dreamed of as a little girl.
We looked at pictures of a Texas banjo contest from 2006 for a half hour and then were surprised by who won. That stoned.
Wanna tell me why vodka seeped out of the memory foam when I climbed into my bed?
Tell your friends I said hi and that if they touch your penis I'll cut off their hands.
New year means new boundaries for the Brazilian lady.. I'm pretty sure I got wax on my asshole
By the way, do you realize that you asked me how much you could get for your eggs last night. And once you learned the price said that you had plenty to share.
Officially the best daughter ever. I just restocked my parents alcohol that I stole last night AND ADDED TO IT
Randomize
