whoa...plan B gets you drunker quicker.
you sang the finger bang song from south park while fingering me. needless to say, kind of a turn off.
The liquor store wont accept checks from us anymore.
The last thing I remember is him grabbing my ass and telling me he knew where the jello shots were, so I followed him.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we kept pushing you at the prospective students saying go for it, itll make them want to come here
you kept yelling THIS ONES FOR THE ADMISSIONS OFFICE and then youd go in for the kill
Miller High Life will be the death of me. Well, that and shower sex.
i only avoided him because he looked like he was about to have a heart attack and i didnt feel like doing cpr on my day off.
what type of emt are you
I'll never get why we had to sing the entire full house theme to the cab driver.... never drinking rum again.
An old white couple caught us smoking the foot long. THE LOOK ON THEIR FACES.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This strange Italian man told me he wants to take me for ice cream and kept calling me "tomato" from tinder
I did cocaine off my boobs last night. Then I wrote two essays and went on a run. Go me
It's just a friend who is recently single and I'm going to heal his broken heart with my vagina
I hope no one at work can tell or smell that I have tequila in my hair and I haven't showered for days
Now that I'm sober I feel the need to tell you that I'm not really a fish whisperer....
Just realized that I indirectly pay for sex through my cable bill
Wow. He is an expensive lay
I still have to figure out the cost per lay. It could be a financially sound investment
Randomize