I'm sitting next to this guy at the bar. I wrote him a little song in my head it goes "there is no fucking chance you're getting in my pants" gonna sing it to him after he buys me another drink.
Then I opened the closet and then i found the babies
I cant talk about it right now or let you guess, but its something you and i would do. Kinda like that time we had the case of beer and went bowling
You hooked up with minors in a golf cart?
We met at my place after separate parties but the condom wrapper was red with hearts and said love. Does that count as a romantic date?
That's terrible. At least give it a creative name like muff mobile.
I believe its time to stop celebrating Thanksgiving. I've been drunk for over a week. If my liver doesn't give out, and I'm not pregnant I will truly have something to be thankful for.
I'd probably lick every tooth in Carly Rae Jepson's fucking mouth.
Teen Choice Awards are on if your wondering.
To me, you're the Patron Saint of good music and handjobs
There's a possibility I may have hooked up with that British guy...
Possibility? You left the door open! Everyone saw!
Such a shame we didn't work out. We would've been a power couple producing NFL linemen :/
this vacation is helping with my sexual bucket list so much. threesome, deaf guy, and outdoor sex all accomplished.
There are 6 of us in a mini cooper and his maid is in the trunk...she needed a ride.
There is no rule that you can't be in a room with more than one dick that's been inside you.
No. It's going to be "I'm mad that it took you so long to get over here" angry sex.
The only thing good about being back at work is the lunch time hand jobs from the MILF
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