im glad we only fight about serious things like the hills and disney scene it
my step dad just called me a drunken slut..someone in my family finally understands me
I was giving him a handjob and he commented that he loved my nailpolish....I'm destined to die a fag hag
i would one night stand the shit outta him
He's drinking red wine in a margarita glass. He couldn't be more perfect for me.
I know it's not standard practice to meet the couple you donate to, but i'm curious as to what kind of people saw my picture and said, we want that girl's eggs
the cop didnt laugh with me when he patted me down and pulled out my flask.
I have a scary feeling my mom might switch her goals from finding me a husband in 2012 to sending me to rehab
You should really trust me on this one. "hit it and quit it" might not be the best career move on your part...
You're on Grindr at the STD clinic. I love you.
The cop told you to put your hands behind your back and you slurred "I'm not falling for that again"
I dont know but I had two different hospital bands and half a pie when i woke up.
My brother is chasing tequila with vodka. Not sure how it will turn out, but I like his style.
Told him my main goal was to seduce the man and convince him to leave his wife for me. He didn't argue just asked me to let him know if I succeeded so he didn't waste anymore time not sleeping with the secretary at his office. I have an incredible boyfriend.
I apologize for there being a shopping cart in the living room. I don't know how why or where i got it.
Randomize
