one word: firstdatebathroomanal
The bubbles in my bathtub are singing to me in german....
Haha he acted like he's never seen a tampon catapolt across the hall before
You're the only person i know who can laugh and talk while puking
I really need to stop drunk texting. My one night stand just agreed to go roller skating.
I was just expressing concern for your pickle consumption.
I think 2012 will be the year I purposely put myself in awkward situations. Much like 2011 but really trying this time. Like fucking the little sister of a girl I already fucked and dating a chick that lives with her ex. It could be awesome or horrible.
I just sent a bad sext to my sister. There's not even a way to damage control this, is there?
No seriously, I don't care if you just sucked God's dick. I have had a better Fat Tuesday than you
Well, I just bought plan b with the tips I made from the job that I slept with my manager. So yeah, that's my life. How's yours?
As if I wouldn't steal Nintendo brand "Mario is my HOMEBOY!" boxers when he gave me the entire drawer to choose from.
He was like, I wanna take it slow. I took off my bra And I was like, either we have sex now or you get out.
It was like the icing on a beautiful fuck boy cake.
then you dropped a clam in a draught beer like it was a drop shot and and started chugging as beer spewed all over your body.
Actually we have similar relationship styles aka no relationship... it could work
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