**** and his GF asked me to give his stuff back, and they would give me a 100. HA, they dont know I have it to charity haha
I got otter pops to cool the beers, it's an all around better idea.
worse things have happened to me. but if it will make you feel better you can pay for my therapist sessions next week.
You were rubbing your foot on one of your legs and kept saying, "My sock feels like a waterslide!"
She gave such good road head it was turned into side-of-the-road head for everyone's safety
Dude, it's the frankincense and myrrh soap. Smelling like baby Jesus will get you laid.
1 tequila 2 tequila 3 tequila, floor.
*roof
I will expect an hourly check text to confirm you are alive and that you aren't dead in a ditch somewhere with a hobo dry humping your corpse
My drug dealer bought me a book for Christmas. What a gentleman.
bought a large fruitopia from McDonalds at 7:45 this morning. Spilled it on the ground. Cried. THAT hungover.
I've got 3 hot dudes surrounding me. It's the Bermudick Triangle.
We keep making plans but he keeps getting arrested. Such a tease
he was almost the father of your baby, you should let him take you to dinner
When the people downstairs start talking about drugs, I second guess buying my drugs from them. Then I remember they are cheap and convenient.
wait you like me?? for my personality??
I know I was surprised too
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