it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
i hope my daughter doesn't end up with cankles. no guy likes cankles.
i'm home, then i'll come over
ightttt gangstaaaaaaaaaaaa
nvm.
I am so fucking pissed, there are no Shamwows in the As Seen on TV Store.
Looks like you'll have to stick to jizzing in socks.
I guess calling a coworker a lesbian sea cow is some kind of violation.
She was drunk breaking up with me. All of my emails to her were coming back with UNSUBSCRIBE as the subject.
He never broke character while fucking me on the neighbor's lawn. I give him a 10 for his dedication to the British accent.
High water is the most godliest tasting water in the world.
I showed up to a booty-call in my onesie pajamas and rubber boots
I woke wondering who the hell was in my bed. Then i felt boobs and remembered Haha. Thirsty Thursday killed my liver and my homosexuality
I almost died today via plastic wrap. I AM THE REASON THEY PUT WARNING LABELS ON THINGS.
I say I'm working from home on conference call days, but really I just mute the phone, put that shit on speaker so I can hear what's going on, and let Marcus fuck my brains out.
I bought a mink out of the back of some guy's van on my walk home from the bar yesterday
can you come here so we can have really loud sex? the girl upstairs walks so loud i want her to know how it feels
of course
I talked to his mom for a good 10 minutes with coke all over my nose. Not the best first impression
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