In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
Upside of a two-day migraine: thanks to a prominent "E" in the middle of every pill, I think we can totally pass off Excedrine Migraine as ecstasy to stupid, drunk freshman. This is totally going to happen. That entrepreneurship course is paying off.
I just found a bag of teeth...
Well if were past the bullshitting stage yes if not then no I'm not that kind of guy
I can't believe you big bird do not remember battling a shark last night it turned into a Pokemon battle and big bird over powered the shark
I'm on the bus, watching a girl shush her balloons.
Just shaved my crotch so I could call it the bald eagle. Happy 4th.
40 year old guy made out with me last night while I had French fries in my mouth
I have 13 missed calls from when I slept outside on some rocks
I guess I just don't understand how the two main issues with your ex involve a cock ring and a Christmas tree
We went camping and met these lesbians and now I have S'mores where there shouldn't be S'mores.
I'm drunk still and I cried and now I'm watching Whitney Houston singing the national anthem and I'm crying more
I still judge her for aggressively trying to get coke from my date but pretty cool that she's a black belt
Just walked out of the train bathroom after having sex and got a round of applause from the passengers. Definitely the best part of the trip.
This toilet bowl is my home.
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