I mean roof. it goes up. its important day. you should recongziw it.
You're drunk. Make complete sentences.
It's not luke its my birthday or anything. Mike, understand.
I asked him where the store BJ's was and he unzipped his pants.
at a bar with my ex girlfriend.. both men AND WOMEN are hitting on her.. and not one has even looked at me
when I woke up she was standing in the living room with a bottle of scotch because she is "allergic to hangovers"
FOR A FUCKING 40?! A FUCKING 40?! YOU GAVE THE CAT AWAY FOR BEER?!
I'm covered in salsa and facewash. I think I'm doing something wrong over here.
Is this helping you get pumped up or am I going to have to send you more dick pics?
Things I want for my birthday 1. a Chipotle grade tortilla steamer 2. a new liver
You were typing for me while I was hyperventilating into a paper bag on the floor.
In 2014 only three boys have seen my boobs so far
I'm sorry I keep having sex wth your friends. I'm done, for real. Unless cole is interested. Other than that, I'm done.
Rough day
Good thing I've started drinking again
I've seriously never been more thankful for marijuana and my resting bitchface.
Why is there bacon in the couch?
Get the fuck in, we're going to Taco Bell.
Randomize
