only you would photoshop your dick
so i told him i have my period and he put his head by my vagina and said "I HATE YOU!"
Woke up with a treasure map of my room stuck with sticky tape to my ceiling. followed it and found $75 with a note saying; "eat this if we're invaded"... I'm never getting stoned again
the pic of her and her boyfriend fell off the wall as we were fucking.
When I was in the bathroom and wiped with a paper towel I found in the trashcan, I realized that this might be the reason I have a yeast infection.
There's a bed on the roof. The window behind it is too small for it to go through. I'm impressed.
Single person behavior: I wanted a cookie but was too lazy to make or go buy any, so I let cookie dough ice cream melt and ate all the chunks. Pantsless.
I tried to lock you in the bathroom stall because you were too drunk. But you escaped from underneath, I gave up
I wanna introduce you to my balls, Thunder and Lightning.
I've now spilled wine and got poptarts all over my cast. So much for my doc taking me seriously...
You yell at me for giving you beer but not for licking spilled beer off your chest.
You were drunk at 5 You went to the dining hall and cried because your brain and fingers weren't working. Your RA came up to you and suddenly you became sober. I was very proud of you.
My little brother came home while I was sitting there icing my vagina with a bag of peas. Asshole looks at me, high fives Ryan, then leaves.
i don't know how to react to you in a diaper crying and calling a football 'sadie'.
I knew how blacked out you were when you started doing that thing where you dance around and call yourself the Black Swan.
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