What are you drinking?
Shitty Coors light. OM NOM NOM TASTES LIKE HIGH SCHOOL
You named all of the cocktail shrimps and then tackled a guy for "eating Henry"
we found her in my closet eating a clove of garlic.
just used my nephews bottle to take my birth control
well someone pooped in the lint basket in the laundry room last night, but none of us will admit to it so we're all just secretly judging each other and doubting ourselves.
Look. You've gotta stop making this about you, and make it about my vagina.
Your whole purpose in life is to just float around and satisfy lonely women and also join lesbian couples in threesomes.
Currently getting "blaow" buzzed into my pubes. How's your thursday?
No one suspects that a sweet girl who is excited about her anniversary with her bf just blew her partner at work in a communal area a few hours ago, so its cool.
Jake and I will do a protection ritual for ur dick I don't know where she has been
Don't talk to me about scholarly dedication until you've taken a final in boxers, a bloody tank top and a zip tie to hold your hair back. I wear the most sullied 4.0 crown of all time....
...take a good look at your butthole.... then try matching it to any paint color on the Benjamin Moore color wheel....not gonna happen...
I'd date him. I'd date the fucking shit out of him.
She bruised my penis again. But, trooper I am we kept on going.
dude the dog literally grabbed the condom out of the trash can and threw it in the air i'm screaming
Randomize
