Don't worry about later. I already pre-ordered a pizza for a 1:45 delivery and told them to ignore any calls from your number.
You're getting good at this, you know that?
My foreign exchange student got here today. I turned on man vs. food and told her that "this is all you need to know about America."
my cabbie only has one arm...this can't be safe
I'm doing shots of crown out of a baby bottle. My friends are sensational parents.
Talking about the game in the closet with a banana wearing sunglasses.
there is potential here for me to have a consistent access to someone's dick who isn't actually an asshole. i think i'm ready for a relationship.
They better compete for your attention. Dual to the fuck
She just gave me a free latte.
Correction. She just have you a frothy, creamy path to that vagina.
My boss just told me not to come back to work if I decide to drink. Challenge accepted.
I swear to god....if you can give yourself a brazilian you can take a fucking bullet
PEOPLE ARE STILL EATING FAJITAS IN DROVES. BY THE CASELOAD. THERES A FORKLIFT OF SIZZLING MEATS.
I'm drinking apple juice and champagne while watching crossroads..like the classy bitch that i am.
Can you confirm that you aren't dead?
What are u up to today?
Marathon sex and eating.
Get over here and bring your drill!!! The strippers next door need help installing a stripper pole by their pool
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