I think scott just propositioned me for sex
slowly transforming into a stationary lump of steel. how can you tell me that was JUST weed
I found her under my bed eating airplane pretzels.
Do you want the something i can tell my mom in ten year version or the you're gonna call me a whore but be proud version?
Last night was the first and hopefully last night I will ever sleep in a hotel bath tub. Sober mind you.
I'm not even gonna ask.
So when this rash is gone wanna hang out?
If I got paid for every bad decision I've made I would be one rich bitch by now
We could have mediocre awkward sex or mediocre stunted/awkward/uncomfortable banter. The possilities are relatively finite
the last thing I remember is taking a pull of ever clear and chasing it with vodka
Girl you're stalking so hard you're gonna know both their social security numbers soon
The next time you invite me out to a bar full of cougars warn me first. I never felt like a piece of meat before.
I am afraid of asking him for his new number so I continue to text the one that's no longer in service.
do you think that identical twins have the same size junk? i just want to know your opinion before i find out.
Question: anytime during the past week did I drunk dial you and give you full permission to grab my boobs? Cus I know I said it I just don't remember who I said it to...
how do do this?
do what? Keep standing? Choose between 2 guys?
keep making boys cry?
Randomize
