If you're going to outback I'll have to decline, I've slept with a large enough portion of their staff already.
Not enough. Tell the person next to you to give you their drink. I give you permission. And then chug it. Be a hero tonight.
You're probably reading this when you wake up from your "nap" in the front yard. Maybe next week you should go to class, and not start Thirsty Thursday at 9:30 in the morning.
looking at my texts from you makes me want to throw up in my pants
How's your threesome situation going?
Optimistic
Successfully masturbated while balancing on an exercise ball. my greatest accomplishment?
Probably
Please stop using me as a reference for bail bondsmen.
So feel off my bed lastnight into the trashcan. On the plus side i thought under my bed was a cave and i went exsploring
After a little too much, I decided public urination was a constitutional right.. Nearly got deported for that one
Surely the maintenance men have seen worse than that condom right
I seriously doubt I'm gonna be able to properly put your dick in my mouth whilst upside down, but I'm willing to give it my best shot
It was going very smoothly until she noticed my boner of hope.
Someone left a middle school yearbook here. I recognized one kid from banging his mom last year.
I really don't think my body can handle another night of drinking
Lol you talk like you have a choice
I am worried that I am gonna die before the weekend is over
It's difficult when the romantic and the hedonist in me are fighting. I want him to respect me and hopefully pursue an actual relationship, but then I remember he fucks like a GOD and loves my kink. Oh, life's hard.
Randomize
