Wooohooo! I'm sitting in the car like a creep watching people walk in and out of Blush. Lots of happy people.
Omg my grandpa just told me he wants to die in his 90's shot by a jealous husband
you have to be so drunk to ignore a taser
Just convinced airport security that im sober. All i do is win.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Im beginning to think that if I ever write an autobiography it will have to be mostly fill in the blank.
it's been like two and a half months. And I swear, I keep seeing walking dicks. I think I'm going crazy cause of lack of sex..
I kind of want you to get arrested just so I could frame an avatar mugshot.
I'm trying to have a "pick me up from my house so I can get completely annihilated night" any takers? Cmon people this is what friends are for
Not sure how a movie about Jesus has managed to make me feel insecure about my boobs but it has.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I played "in the air tonight" on a drum set made of titties, and I'm not even exaggerating
Hey... Tell me if you remember differently, but nobody truly saw me naked, right?
Yeah I'm at the doctors getting a shotand don't know how to tell them I'm still probably drunk from last night
It's two in the afternoon, I'm on my third glass of wine and I'm watching Lambchop on youtube. How do you think I feel right now?
As you passed out you started to cry and say "Mufasa" over and over again making everyone else cry.
I'm sitting in the hospital with him while he's still half drunk with a busted leg because he thought he could do parkour off a rock
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