You feel like going out tonight?
Does a 14yr-old girl look good beat up? I'll bring the handle
I just puked in the walgreens aisle buying gatorade and advil for my hangover... i guess i failed
I drunk wandered into my parents bed and slept between them
It was honestly like finding a clitoris in a haystack.
He deserves to hear about your Vagina Shrooms
I fatbooth all their pics then decide which one is the cutest even if they gained like 400 lbs and then proceed to fuck him.
im really going to miss that car, so many blow jobs...
we got 12 live crabs and then we got really stoned and know we're playing with the crabs. thats nom watermellon nom. now i'm plaing with a crap whos such a gentleman
Thank god the bicycalist i hit was on drugs
He's cheating on his wife, and he's judging me for eating McDonalds
Im hitting on this chick at a stoplight when all the sudden. i notice this chick blowing some dude in the backseat.
Do you think the firemen will remember me?
Yes. But you were sloppy, sobbing, and puked on two of them. You won't get in their pants.
i spent my Thursday drinking before noon and not wearing pants
The first time he ever tried to hold my hand, I moon walked away.
Nah leave him alone, he is at the strip club with his mom.
Randomize
