I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
well in DOG beers, i've only had one
i was mezmorized. she was the most beautiful girl that looked like a boy i ever seen
His phone pocket dialed me while he was crapping. He was quietly singing stayin alive and possibly passing his intestines.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Bro. Some kids just drive-by judged the shit outta me.
Shitty. Well if it makes you feel any better I just had a toothless wasted crackhead in my bar who was mad because there are TOO MANY FUCKIN TREES in Nantucket.
Our music was glorious. Maidens were deflowered to the sound of my voice.
If God invented something better than rough, drunken, lesbian sex he kept that shit to himself.
I told you, she may have multiple personality disorder, but like in the most upbeat way possible.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just found one of your beard hairs in my oatmeal.
Yeah, I've hit on priests at bars, too. Such a shame, there are a lot of hot men out there who've devoted themselves and their glorious genitalia to the Lord -_-
You can’t homewreck what the Lord hath brought together.
Best neighbors ever! They found the guy ive been wanting as a booty call and got me invited to the party the guy was at and gave me alcohol so i could be tipsy when met him. im never moving.
Your cat ate my taco.
. . . I don't have a cat?
It was laying in your bed. Now it's hunting for more tacos.
Don't worry about it too much, but I just committed us to possibly raising a kid
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